The Hidden Internal War Keeping Stuck Female Creatives From Reaching Their Goals
It is sad to admit, but I spent more than 20 years fighting my feminine energy.
I unconsciously thought it made me weak. As if being a woman made me less strong, less capable, and less powerful somehow.
And I couldn't afford to be less powerful, because for as long as I can remember, I’ve always had big dreams. I didn’t want to conform to what people told me to do. I wanted to build a life and a business that felt fully aligned with myself. I wanted to be unique, creative, and confident.
But for 20 years, every time I tried to reach for that creativity and that confidence, I would freeze.
It felt like I was trying to reach into an empty cup. Like the skills to come up with cool new ideas and to be spontaneous were given to everyone but me.
And trust me, it’s a terrifying realization when you’re 12.
What I didn't know then was that I had actually lost those skills when I was a little girl.
Tracing the Roots of the Internal War
I grew up in a house where emotions weren’t given much space.
My mom did the best she could, but she ignored her own feelings.
I learned that crying wasn’t safe, that it was a sign of weakness.
Everything in my life, from school to hobbies like swimming or playing chess, was measured by performance and expectations.
I learned early that there was not much room to have fun or explore. To be safe, I had to be logical and meet the expectations.
I learned to unconsciously repress my feminine side.
In high school, when I was asked to dance or draw, I would freeze. I didn’t know how to “feel the music”. I felt like I needed a step-by-step manual.
The same thing happened with university projects and building my business on LinkedIn years ago.
While other people created effortlessly and naturally, I was overthinking, perfecting every detail, and fighting to finish.
I’d sit in front of a blank page, asking myself: “How do they do that? Why is it so hard for me?”
It reinforced my belief that I needed to try harder and work more to meet the standards.
Everything changed when I started to work with Wendy, a psychotherapist specialized in somatic work.
Putting a microscope to my childhood and my beliefs made me realize that I was seeing the world (and myself) through tinted glasses.
My emotions didn’t make me weak.
My feminine side didn’t make me less powerful.
They made me spontaneous, magnetic, and truly me.
Healing my childhood wounds gave me access to a catalogue of newfound powers.
Now, building my business (fully aligned with who I am) feels like play.
I speak my truth and set boundaries with confidence.
I dress in colors that bring me joy.
Almost every day, I dance in my room and feel the music without thinking.
I allow myself to be silly, and to cry when I need to.
I even talk to birds and flowers when I’m out on my walks.
I feel safe and proud in my own skin, and my creativity finally flows.
The Cost of Forcing a Feminine Act With Pure Logic
Now, you might be thinking “That is not happening to me!
My whole job is about [creating things/writing/designing/painting…] How could I possibly be disconnected from my feminine energy?”
Let me tell you, there’s a difference between creative output and a creative state.
If you’re creating from a place of “I have to prove my worth” and constantly overthinking and perfecting your work (like I was), you’re using masculine energy (pure force and logical thinking) to survive and force a feminine act.
That’s why creating feels so exhausting instead of fun.
Reconnecting with your feminine energy will help you solve your overthinking and exhaustion while running your business.
Operating purely from the masculine go-energy (focused, linear, goal-oriented) you were taught is the reason why:
Each task on your to-do list takes three agonizing hours because you are terrified of being judged.
Your ideas dry up, you stare at your screen, and you lose the voice that makes your work different.
You’re ignoring the signs from your body to follow an unsustainable productivity cycle that has you close to burnout.
It’s not your fault. Most of the business industry operates from this energy. It’s what the ‘gurus’ tell you to do.
But when you’re disconnected from your feminine, especially being a woman, you lose the "creative fire" necessary for a business to thrive. It’s what allows your authentic voice to become magnetic again.
You need to realize that people don't buy your logic. They buy your presence.
I know it can be terrifying to leave your hyper-achieving, perfectionist, and structured mindset.
This is what has helped you accomplish everything. It feels like it’s what has protected you the whole time, right?
But trust me, even if it did, it’s what’s holding you back now.
Fighting your feminine energy makes you heavy, not fast.
I remember I was scared of becoming lazy or watching everything I had built collapse.
But the only thing that collapsed was my belief that suffering was the price of success.
You don’t have to drop your standards or your goals, you just need to stop using them as weapons against yourself.
When you reclaim your feminine energy, things start to flow.
You create with ease and alignment, and you start to build a business that feels like play instead of the torture of overwhelm you live in every day.
And for the record…
You don’t need a bunch of time or money to reconnect with your feminine energy.
You just need to learn how to stop, breathe, and drop from your overstimulated head back into the safety of your body for five minutes.
When you operate from a regulated body, tasks that used to take hours of second-guessing take twenty minutes, because you aren't fighting yourself the whole time.
Harmonizing Feminine Flow and Masculine Structure for Aligned Momentum
And lastly, you don’t have to abandon your masculine energy either. It is necessary too.
You just need to learn how to balance them.
Your masculine energy provides the structure, boundaries, and financial logic.
Your feminine energy provides the vision, creativity, and relational depth.
So, if you want to reconnect with your feminine energy, I have the perfect tool for you to start.
HER Relief & Reset Dashboard.
It’s a FREE tool I built to be medicine for women who are exhausted from living in their heads, overthinking.
And before you say “Isn’t a dashboard a masculine tool that will keep me trapped in my head?”…
No, this dashboard is different.
I built it with enough structure to guide yououtof your analytical mind and back into your body.
It’s a safe somatic workflow designed to clear the mental overwhelm you feel every time you look at your to-do list, and unlock aligned momentum in 4 steps.
Con mucho amor,
-Carolina.
